Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
