did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
