He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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