Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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