K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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