she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
