My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
