So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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