Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
