Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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