if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
