i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
