I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
