She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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