So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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