There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
