your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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