i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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