someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
