how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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