Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
