google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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