OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
