i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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