so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize