Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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