please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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