after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
