Kiss
Puke
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
