ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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