just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
