This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
