So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
