We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
