This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
