He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
