OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
