if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
