your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
