I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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