Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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