This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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