I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
