My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
