so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
