Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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