I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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