I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
