Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
