Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
