did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
