Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
