sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
