I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
