He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
