I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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