She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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