Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
