called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
