I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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