who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
