Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
