Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so that wasnt chicken after all
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
