He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
