from now on my penis is your penis
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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