You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
