my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
